Another not-so-good day�

2005-04-19

It seems like it�s never going to end. And that�s just for me. I�m not my Mom, or my Dad.

Mom is still not doing well. She�d made an appointment with her cardiologist for next Monday, but decided that she just could wait. So she called and scheduled one for his other office. In one of the not-so-hot areas.

Dad called me and asked me to go along so that I could help her from the car to the office, while he parked the car. I said �Yes, of course.� He said, �Be there at 10 am.�

I was there and off we went. Mom was nauseous, so I carried something for her to barf in, a bag and some paper towels. I was really hoping she wouldn�t; I�m way too suggestive and two barfers would be sooo much for my Dad to handle.

Dad has actually been doing great. For someone 70-plus years having to learn new skills, like cleaning and cooking, he�s been doing great. We went and had lunch afterwards and I told him that I was proud of him. I don�t think he bought it. And perhaps rightfully so. I think everyone should know how to cook and clean. And pay bills. Because you should be able to care for yourself.

I think that�s why I�m proud of my Dad. Not only is he doing what needs to be done, he�s realizing that he should have known this stuff all along. And is ashamed that he didn�t. Didn�t know how to cook. Didn�t know how to clean. Didn�t know how to take care of the household finances.

I know he�s ashamed that he didn�t know all of the things that his wife did for him for years without question. I�m still proud of him. Proud that he�s able to see this stuff. And now he�s dealing.

I�m still very worried about Mom. She�s not recovering as fast as she thinks she should and she�s very depressed about it. She�s not the only one. Three years ago she recovered from open heart surgery in much less time.

I understand my parent�s naivet� about health care. They both grew up in a time where a doctor was a member of the community. If too many patients died, it would reflect badly on his reputation.

Now, the only control on doctors is insurance and patient feedback. If someone is ill, it is their or their family�s responsibility to be as educated as possible about how the patient is doing and the treatments available.

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