Sad Day`�

2003-02-01

I told my stepson to get his car fixed. It had been wrecked for over a month. I told him I didn't like being a one-car family. He then got one of his family members to take his wrecked car to be fixed. Then he wrecked his father's car. My husbands car. The over-ten-years-old Honda we thought would make another few years. Stepson has now gone to live with his mom. Thank goodness. I've been ready to make his life Hell since he wrecked his own car. I knew he was going to wreck his dad's car.

I was so hoping to be wrong. By all the holies, let him exceed my expectations for once. He didn't. On Friday I noticed that spouse disappeared from on-line early in the afternoon. When I came home I asked if everything was all right. It wasn't. We are so not ready to buy another car. Had we only come to this point before we had bought the new computer.

Had a couple of other sad moments this weekend. Much smaller in the grand scheme of things, but still sad for me. My favorite (only) bonsai shop is going out of business. Everything on sale. 40% off. I went to buy moss spores, which, of course, they didn't have. And saw the 'Going Out of Business' sign. I bought a few things, even though I only meant to buy the moss. I stood at the counter and looked at the old man's hands as he wrote up my purchases. Square hands, square fingernails, ingrained with dirt. I've watched him work as I shopped, many times over the years. Noting what he did. Noting the care he put in his work. I wish I could have spent more. Supported him more.

Then I went to see the Cactus Man. Only the Cactus Man wasn't there. At least his shop was still there. Cared for. Looking better than it has in quite a while. The Cactus Woman was there. I've seen her two or three times before. The shop actually looked better. Better cared for. A wider selection of plants and pots. But I missed the Cactus Man. I was afraid to ask what happened to him. Did he sell the shop? Did he retire? I kind of doubt it. How the heck could he have made enough money to retire on? Still. He had an apprentice. He passed on his skill and his craft.

He changed my view of plants. He and the Bonsai family. They took the ordiary and made them extraordinary. They payed attention to the details. They took care of the growing things. I'm going to miss both of them.