A Ghost at My Own Funeral�

2002-11-19

We got our extra special, super duper version of Lord of the Rings. And while watching the movie for the umpty umpth time I have discovered that I'm a hobbit. I'm short, rather rounder than I would like to be. Though they're nearly always cold and certainly not hairy, my feet are definitely a bit large for my size. Then there's whole food thing.

Now I want nothing more than a hobbity life. I want to stay home and work in my garden. I want to sit on the patio in the afternoon blowing smoke rings and watching the sun go down. Well, maybe not so much with the smoke rings.

I spent Wednesday through Saturday of last week at our sales meeting. Thank goodness it was close this time so I could go home at night. I hate staying in hotels. I never sleep well.

It was a really strange meeting. Lots of pent up anger about what's been happening with the company. Everyone's scared. One sales rep told me that 75% of the other reps were looking for other jobs. I'm not at all surprised.

The weirdest part for me was the socializing at night. Dinner drinks, etc. As usual, I had my camera to hide behind. I felt like a ghost at my own funeral and the feeling increased as the days went by. I know that I have some connection to these people, but it grows more tenuous by the hour. I felt if I hung around long enough I would finally be invisible. A very strange feeling.

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