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2002-05-26

I'm depressed. I don't think I've ever been depressed before. I am questioning the reason for my existence. And find damn near nothing. I'm a burden on this planet. All of the resources that keep me alive and comfortable. The planet would be better off without me.

I can't/won't let impulse control me. These thoughts have only happened in the last week or two. There are too many people that would be hurt. Is there some way I could make my life worthwhile. I want to make my life worthwhile. So much effort has gone into keeping me alive. I saw the bills. 1/4 million dollars. What else could have been done with that money? In the last few weeks, the more I see that was spent on my life, the less I feel I deserve to be alive. How to I justify my life?

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