Much More Satisfying�

2003-11-17

Every day the house gets a little bit cleaner. The outside yards change from less to more interesting. Every day the regular chores get done, and a couple of long-neglected tasks are finished. I love being at home. I love having the time to cook creatively, take on long overdue yard projects, make jewelry, work on a drawing.

I�ve also discovered something that just amazes me. Once I get up and start moving and working, I don�t want to stop. I keep coming up with the next chore, and the next. I�ve been more active in the last two and some odd weeks than I have been in months. And I love it.

I feel like I�ve finally come to know myself, to know what I want for myself. And �Corporate America� isn�t it. I was, am, and will be a solitary person. In the past couple of years I�ve even stopped blaming myself for it. �I yam what I yam.� And I�ve pretty much always been this way.

I think, as kids, we have friends based on geography. The kids in our neighborhoods that are near our own age are our friends. Friendship is not based on common interests. This seems to hold true through high school. Then there�s college. Or not.

Some people seem to have there best years in high school (and stop evolving at that point.) I can�t tell you how many women I�ve seen still wearing fashions and hairstyles (hairstyle seems to be the sticking point) fashionable when they were in high school. It�s seemed to me that people stick with hairstyles, fashions, etc. that were in vogue during the best times of their lives. It still seems sad to me to be stuck in high school forever.

I had a great childhood, but between thirteen and thirty, really not that much fun. After thirty, when I started accepting who I was and asking for what I wanted, lots more fun. Much more satisfying.

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