It'll be OK�

2003-10-23

I went to work as usual today. Figured my folks didn't really need me and I might as well get as many work hours in as possible before my job is over. And found I couldn't concentrate.

I'm kind of expected to say something (though no one would comment it I didn't). Spent part of my utterly bored morning trying to write some kind of something to say.

I talked to my sister at lunch and was kind of worried about my Dad. At least that's what I told myself. So I told my boses what was going on and left an hour early to go see my folks.

When I got there, my dad wasn't there. He was probably out birthday shopping for my mom. Oh, yeah. Another fun item; we're having my mom's birthday party right after the funeral. For several hours the very idea made me wince and grit my teeth. But a neighbor made a comment to my mom. She said, "Oh, Edna would have liked that. She always loved coming to the family gatherings." I have new respect for my parent's neighbor. She's either very insightful or the most tactful person alive. I'm going to go with both.

My grandmother did love family gatherings. And as little as I believe in an afterlife, I'd much rather think of her being there in spirit than in the all-too-fragile flesh.

After I left my folks, I found that I was the one that was comforted. I'm still sad. There's no way around this pain, only through. But I reconfirmed my opinions with both Mom and Dad. We loved her and we're glad she doesn't have to spend any more time in that place.

And I finally decided what I need to say at the funeral. It won't be easy. It won't be witty. It won't be well written. It will be OK.

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