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Can't Give Up

2003-05-31

For those people who don't know about cats, you name your cats so you have someone in particular to swear at when you find a barfed-up hairball in your shoe.

When I first found out that Penny was sick. I grieved. Kind of a lot. You see, my last cat (another Abyssinian) died after 18 years. I figured Penny was my last kitten. I�m 45 now. I don�t want to get a cat and have it outlive me. I�m a lupus patient, for crying out loud. I have pretty severe kidney damage and blood pressure that takes six different kinds of drugs to control. I so don�t want to outlive a kitten. So Penny was going to be the last cat that I got.

Only Penny is sick. She has lymphoma or some kind of related disease. I didn�t think she was going to live more than a week past her diagnosis. I didn�t want my husband to let her into the garage because I was afraid she�d die and I wouldn�t be able to find her.

But we�re more than a month past when we first found out that she was sick. She has good days and bad days. But she�s still here. She hasn�t given up. So I can�t give up on her. It means I can�t give up hope.

I really can�t.

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