Not Wrong�

2003-04-06

I'm sad.

I don't know any other way to express it. My cat is going to die. Not that we're not all going to die. But my three year old kitty is going to die. Soon. I think her kidneys are failing.

She's been getting more lethargic for the last couple of months. I kept telling myself that is was because it's been cold and she has a hard time maintaining body heat because she's so small.

But I've always know that she was genetically deficient. Over-bred and underbrained. I knew it the first day I got her home. It was too late for me to give her back by the time I got her home from where I bought her. But she was so sweet, so fearless. She totally ruled my husband's cat, who outweighs her by five pounds and has been here for five years more than she.

I got her after my last cat died. I'd had her for more than eighteen years. There was a really big empty space after she died.

No one could replace her, but, oh god, I needed something to distract me. She did a really good job of it. She was so much the same. And so different.

She was so brave. She was unafraid of the two cats that we already had.

I'm already speaking of her in the past tense. I don't know what's happening to her. But I have a really strong feeling. I've seen this behavior before. If only I could be wrong.

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